Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize