I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
