is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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