real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
