i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
