That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
