We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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