i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
