I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
