too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have fence marks all over my body
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
