Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
