Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
