Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
