I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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