i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
