If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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