I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
