and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
