Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
