just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
jump out the window naked night went bad
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