Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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