i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize