i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
