And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
