New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
