Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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