what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
be right there i have to get my cape
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
