apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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