Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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