U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
