Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
MIDGETS
????
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
