seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he's single and there are thong briefs.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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