her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize