Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
