my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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