My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
