he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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