Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
