it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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