I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
