No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
