Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
