I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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