ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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