After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
