I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
