I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
