Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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