Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
