its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
