what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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