he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
