I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
