I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
