im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
