I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I want to make a zoo with you.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
