her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
