I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
