Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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