Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
