A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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